When it’s All Falling Apart
I know it's hard to be in the quiet. Ironically, especially when you so desperately need some peace. I know the pain that wells up and the memories that flood in and the voice of self doubt that creep in as soon as you get still.
As someone who's been where you are, I promise it's not always going to be this way. And also as someone who's been where you are, I know that's literally the dumbest most implausible pile of trite horsesh*t you've ever heard. I get it.
But you, baby girl, have a shot-to-hell nervous system in serious need of a reset. So let's try something that will do just that, while building your body's tolerance for stillness. Just read on and humor me.
Okay, we're gonna take 2 seconds and imagine yourself sitting next to some type of moving water on a beautiful day. Just pretend, like when you were a kid. Really let yourself pretend. Give yourself permission to play. Settle into the sense feeling...
Can you hear the water?
What can you smell?
Can you feel sunshine on your skin?
Or a breeze?
Now staying with that sense feeling, take a slow, deep breath in, and let go on the exhale. Stay with it, take another slow, deep breath in and let go on the exhale.
That's it, sis. One breath at a time, staying with that sense feeling. Baby steps and you'll grow your capacity over time. You'll be able to hold uninterrupted quiet for three breaths, then four, ten, etc. But for now, just start with two breaths.
And if the tears come, let them.
I'm so proud of you.