Becoming a Mother

12 Years ago today, I was laboring to bring my firstborn Earthside. He was posterior acynclitic, which proved for a long labor -- 48 hours all told. It wasn't a great experience. I felt very alone. My first midwife told me I was taking too long and "wasting a bed" at the hospital. My then-husband sat in the corner and read the new Harry Potter book from cover to cover. 🚩😉 My mother texting family about my labor one-handed meant she kept dropping my leg she was supposed to be supporting. My sisters were there but were young, and still viewed birth as somewhat of a spectator event. ⁣⁣
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When I told that same midwife I felt like pushing, she argued that there was no way I could be at a 10 because my water hadn't broken and I hadn't screamed yet. (It was a Hypnobirthing birth. My next baby was born in the sack. 🙄) But a shift change toward the end turned it all around and blessed me with a wonderful midwife -- Anita Martinez. Heaven bless her forever. ⁣⁣⁣
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Once I had my beautiful boy, we were moved to recovery a couple hours later. There was a moment after my baby was swaddled and asleep that I went into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror as a mother, for the first time. I felt something being laid across my shoulders like a heavy cloak. Like a mantle now passed to me. I took a deep breath and braced myself as I felt a shift in my body and the space around me. I was his mother now, for this life. ⁣⁣⁣
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Happy Birthday, my firstborn!! And Happy BIRTHday to the mother's who are born with them. 🎉🎈⁣ Heaven bless you forever. ❤⁣⁣
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